i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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