That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
