did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
kristin has been a bad kristin
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
