Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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