I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
