Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
