Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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