he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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