How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
