I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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