Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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