can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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