I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
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I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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