we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
