Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
