talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm bleeding and have questions
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
