I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
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My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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