So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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