It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
