Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
