So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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