My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
