I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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