It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
