"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I didn't shave. On purpose
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
