Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
