i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
