Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
