I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
