I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
