Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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