I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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