STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
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