i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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