guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
