May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
