And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
