New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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