I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
