I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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