thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
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so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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