Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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