ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
