So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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