I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize