Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
