It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
