is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize