do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I need to align my fucking chakras
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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