the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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