I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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