hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
