Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
