im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
