I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
