Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
