Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
