The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure