so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
