he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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