so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
